October 2010
So here we are, rounding the corner of the first year of parenthood, and our blog reflects very little of what has passed during these past twelve months. I apologize for neglecting you, our family and friends. We meant to be in touch, to post photos and stories and tender moments of love, affection, and humor. My only excuse to urge is the busy-ness that surrounds parenthood – the whirlwind of diaper changes, feedings, naps, laundry, cooking, baths, and just, well, beinghas tended to overwhelm those more precise moments of joy, wonder, and awe. Perhaps a year from now I will be able to see the big stuff that happened this year; however, at this juncture, my most profound impression is of a deep, deep longing for a nap.
Not that we haven’t had some amazing moments – our babies have been slowly leaving us, to be replaced by these reflective, interactive, and mobile little people. That transformation has been described by better authors than me and in much more detail than I can do justice to in this blog. I will say that the firsts somehow paled a little in comparison to the mastery that has followed each new skill. Those initial and tentative forays into the world of self-propulsion (rolling, crawling, walking) touched our hearts, but the full-throated barrel laughs have been reserved for the daily games of chase, tag, and roll.
The big surprise this year has more to do with our own reactions than with the beings in our care. Parenthood has turned the two of us, formerly fairly mellow individuals, into seething mama bears, hackles raised, ready to attack. All of a sudden, helicopter parenting and safety policing make much more sense on an emotional level (even as we are striving to balance the reality of life on this planet with a reasonable amount of proactive safety measures). My startle reflex has me jumping at those ubiquitous shadows that move in the corner of my eye while Julie is nurturing her sense of paranoia with traumatic musings on her commute, fed by coworkers with morbid reading recommendations. We are hoping to get these urges under control by the time the grandkids come along.
All things considered, I’m proud to report that we’ve held on to our desire to keep to a minimum any expectations we may have for the kids and of our life with the kids. This resolution was tested early on when we ran across the Denver something something Developmental Checklist. After a brief period of obsessively checking for teeth on my part and some worry over Koen’s mobile-ness (or lack thereof) on Julie’s part, we were back to just enjoying the kids as they are.
To wit, we have been blessed by children of the cosmos, equal parts reflective moon and dancing star. And now, after a year, I know that our arms will always be just the right size to hold them, to embrace all that they are, to pull them close to our hearts. They are our shared joy.
Happy birthdays, Baby Boy & Baby Girl. You are loved.
